Martin Kettle: The Sound of One Neuron Clapping

Ever clueless, the Guardian’s Martin Kettle is a poster boy for the effectiveness of the Peter Principle. In his article on the recommendations of the Smith Commission we find one cosmically dumb pronouncement after another pulled straight from that intimate orifice wherein the sun don’t shine.

Kettle: “… art of a possible shift in the centre of political gravity, with the SNP perhaps even finding itself outside the consensus in the way that Labour has been in recent weeks.”

Evidence for this fairy wish, Martin? Oh. I see, you have none. You just thought you’d assert it.

Kettle: “But independence is mostly supported only by a minority “.

Mostly supported only by a minority? What does that mean? You mean sometimes independence is actually supported by a majority? Well, there’s recent polling indicating that’s a trend. 05 November 2014: Panelbase 1000 respondents 52% YES 48% NO (excluding DKs)

Kettle: “The second and more important task is to ask whether the commission has come up with what Scots want. The answer, almost certainly, is that it has.”

More baseless assertion leading one to wonder whether Martin is naught but a clueless chancer whose currency of transaction is unalloyed bull.

Kettle: “Like most other European countries in the post-banking crash world, modern Scotland resembles a nation hanging around a bus stop where the service has broken down. “

What on earth are you talking about?

Kettle: “Some Scots, and most of the noisier ones, are ready to board a bus that offers them a free ride to a new country. But most of the crowd would be happy with a reliable bus to an improved version of the country they know already.”

In fact polling (13 November 2014: Survation survey 1001 respondents) demonstrates that (excluding DKs) no less than 68% want another indy ref with only 32% saying they do not.

Kettle: “Now, with Smith arriving on the scene with a significant new devolution agenda, Scottish politics may gradually revert from being dominated by the grievances of the 45% who voted yes to independence, to the quieter aspirations of the 75% or more who tend to back increased powers for Holyrood.”

As idiotic as it may be, this concept of a 120% population has a certain zen-like quality to it. It is the sound of one neuron clapping.

The Scottish body politic, Martin tells us, will no longer be preoccupied with the grievances of the 45% of ne’er-do-well nationalists, but with the aspirations of the other 75% of the population.

Kettle: “And what the SNP likes to call the “Westminster elites” – in many ways a dog-whistle for “the English” – have shown an unerring ability to play into nationalist hands.”

That’s right, “dog whistle” – a term used to describe white American’s euphemisms for black Americans. Martin is calling those who advocate Scottish independence, RACISTS.

Stupid is as stupid does, I suppose.