FROM THE DIRECTOR OF THE CENTRE FOR DISEASE CONTROL

Dear Citizen,

As you know, the selective sanitisation initiatives of last September failed to rid the Nation of this deep-rooted pestilence.

The Centre for Disease Control has determined that general fumigation is the only way to eradicate certain stubborn parasitic infestations. On the 7th of May 2015, there will be a massive country-wide drive to finally rid us of this corruption that has for half a century, plagued our body politic.

Your wholehearted cooperation in this effort is requested as is your attendance at your appointed decontamination/polling station between the hours of 7:00am and 10:00pm, on that day.